Tuesday, June 29, 2010

We have become a nation of morons!!!!!

As each day passes I realize that I am becoming more like my father every day, something I proud of if you really must know. I think I have the greatest dad in the known AND unknown universe. I was blessed by having two very loving and caring parents who took a young monkey into their home and raised him as one of their own and not only that but they insisted that I get an education. If I was being raised by them today would I still have the same values that I do today??? Probably not. In a world that is so self obsessed with themselves and what everyone and everything can do for them it’s hard to imagine that there is anyone out there that gives a rat’s ass about where we are heading. Now I have spoke about some of the morons in Hollywood before and how everyone hangs on every word of the gossip rags and the people who just don’t get the whole driving thing, that one still pisses me off, thank God I’m out of the big cities. I seem to be a dying breed, the breed that reads. Hey, look I rhymed, sweet. :)  But I digress, I had parents that actually cared that I could not ONLY read, but write AND SPELL as well. I have read other blogs as well on the internet, the idiot box of this generation, (Can anyone tell me what the last generation’s idiot box was? Vickie’s ahead of everyone, she not only knew my movie quote BUT knew who Mortimer Snerd is/was. You people are sorely lagging behind this smart lady.) Now I don’t know if it’s because of texting like the so called “experts” say it is or if it’s due to people just being lazy or a combination of both. May be it’s the teachers fault that little Johnny can’t read or spell, I mean shit it’s SSSSSOOOOOO hard to know the difference between hey and hay or the difference between there and their. Hell, I’ve seen people screw up the word “AND”, how do you do that exactly? That one still baffles me. Is it Clinton’s fault? (Doing the best Clinton impersonation an Annoyed Monkey can do, “Can I get the definition of and?” “Can you tell me what “is” is?” Come on really, are we really that stupid. I watched the movie “Idiocracy” a couple of years ago, and while it was a stupid movie, I could not help but sit there and say to myself, “Damn, I know these people!!!” Where’s the pride we once had? Where’s the joy in knowing that when you do something and do it right you feel you’ve won because you just learned something??? I really want to tell these people to stop being so lazy and do the work, trust me it’s rewarding. And to those “experts” that say its not little Johnny’s fault that he’s stupid, I say this, why don’t you ingest fecal matter and make guttural noises at Earth’s natural rotating satellite!!!!! (That’s a polite way of saying what???)


And another thing that’s annoying me, gigantor in its Hover Round sucking down Big Macs like Jabba the Hut sucking down those frog thingies in Return of the Jedi and complaining that it’s the Big Macs that are making them fat. No, it couldn’t be the fact that they have the will power of a two toed sloth, wait, I shouldn’t be that mean to sloths should I? It’s people like this that screw it up for the rest of us. Now, now, now, before any of you get your knickers in a twist let my say that I am not one of those elitist snobs that think they know what is right for you and your family, because I’m not. You want to cram those five Big Macs into your cavernous maw then you go right ahead and do so, but shut the hell up about how you are the victim, cause you’re not. It’s your choice to do what you are doing NOT the fast food places you visit fifteen times a day. Get your lard ass out of your Hover Round and walk a little, get active. We all ready have too much government in our lives, and with the Demotazys forcing the Health Bill down our throats they have put in a provision that makes fast food chains put the calorie content on the menu as the bill H.R. 2426 is wanting to do. Now while that MIGHT be a good thing, the government has gone a step further and are adding HUGE taxes on not only fast food, but soda, candy, cigarettes, and bottled water. BOTTLED WATTER??????? The one thing on that list that is NOT harmful to you, like fat, sugar or nicotine. People don’t need the government in the living room, bedrooms or anyplace they choose to eat. What people need is a little will power and exercise.



But hey… WhatdoIknow!!!!

Sunday, June 13, 2010

We’ve all lost our fracking minds!!!!!!!

First, I would like to thank Vickie and Brenna for becoming followers of the Annoyed Monkey, he was a little less annoyed, that is until he realized that everyone has lost their fracking mind. I mean really, is it really all about you and what you can get out of things. And what’s with the whole, “I can’t let you in front of me when I’m driving, I might need those .02 seconds to get where it is I’m going. Duhhh huhhh. Dumb ass, hope you get a ticket or 20 and you have to walk to where you want to go. Let’s see how fast you are then.

To paraphrase the Great Mortimer Snerd (Vickie got the No Prize for the last question I asked, now let’s see if anyone can tell me who the Great Mortimer Snerd is), “I’m not a Repelican or a Demotazy.” I DON’T BELONG TO ANY PARTY. Get that??? I do what smart people do or at least should. I look at all the issues and read BOTH sides and then make an informed opinion. This is something that I feel everyone should do. Why? Well let’s see… Then you can’t say you didn’t know or that you felt it would be ok if… well if that’s the way you go through life then I feel sorry for you and can’t wait for the day that the Zombie Apocalypse hits so we can thin out the herd. Some people just shouldn’t breed. Take for example Lindsay Lohan. Here was a once talented actress who has become identified as a running joke in Hollywood. As anyone that doesn’t live under a rock knows, she is a drunk and an embarrassing one at that. When she’s not falling out of her top, she’s running her car into something. She has been given so many chances to change her way of life that she should have a toilet stall in the LA Court House named after her. Most recently she was ordered to wear an ankle bracelet to detect alcohol. You can just guess how that went. Not even a week and it went off and instead of throwing her talentless drunk ass in jail she was let go on a $200.00.00 bond. Now being a Monkey and all I have to say that my math sucks, but even I know that if you start with $100.000.00 and then pay another $200.000.00 you would have paid a grand total of $300.000.00 to keep your ass out of jail. All the while you’re NOT WORKING!!!!!! Now here’s the kicker folks, you ready…. are you sure??? If you or I had done that we’d be in jail faster than you can say Habeas Corpus and we’d end up jumping the broomstick with Bubba, your 6’10” 250lbs “loverboy”.

What is it with celebrities that makes them think that they can do or say anything they want and we’ll listen? Oh right, the tabloids. Cause everyone want to know what Kim or Brittney, or Susan, or Megan, or Tim, or Tom, or Sean has to say, cause I sure as hell live my days wondering what they’re going to wear or eat or what they might say, cause Lord knows it’s GOING to be impotent.. I mean important. Here’s how I feel. You’re an actor or singer or whatever. Your job is to entertain me, that’s what I give you money for. I… am your customer and if I don’t like what you are selling then I will take my hard earned money and go somewhere else. Keep your opinions to yourself. I don’t give a rats ass if you like or dislike this President or that one, if you like the war or not, but you should by God support our troops, because they are the ones that gave you that freedom to do what you do and say all the fecal matter that you have spewing out of your mouth. (Oh, hey guys, you still have a little in the corner of your mouth). So here’s an idea that maybe a head of its time… SHUT THE HELL UP AND DO YOUR JOBS!!!!!!!!!

Then there’s the actor Donald Glover, I guess he’s a good actor, I just don’t know if I have ever seen him in anything. He has gone on Facebook or Youtube or some such to try to get people to support him so that he can audition to play Spiderman in the new Reboot, and we all know how I feel about them, I say great, let him audition, only thing is, he’s black. Now before anyone gets their panties in a twist, I really don’t care if he’s black, red, brown or mauve, I just don’t care. BUT… if you’re going to play an icon stay true to the forum, don’t change shit just because you feel you need to be PC, and if you haven’t caught on by now, let me make this perfectly clear, I AM NOT PC, NEVER HAVE BEEN, NEVER WILL BE. If you’re such a pansy that your feels get hurt by someone telling you the truth, then I have a great piece of advice for you Mary. Stay home and bury your head in the sand and stop bitching about everything. That’s the problem with things as I see it, people bitch, whine, moan and complain about the littlest thing, and then sue you because you chose to exercise your First Amendment Rights, which clearly states, and I quote “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.” Hey if you don’t believe me then check it out yourself, I promise you that’s what it says. If people gave a damn about something other than themselves or celebrities then maybe things just might get fixed. And I’m not just talking about little things or the things that the so called media wants you to believe in, I mean really, how many of you own a Toyota or knows someone who does. Yes there was a problem and yes Toyota did a recall to insure that the problem was corrected, but the media went on for months about how unsafe these vehicles were, but has the media jumped on the fact that GM has recalled 1.5 million vehicles because they could catch fire? Nope. It was a small blip on the media radar. Where’s all the hoopla over this? I hear no one calling the head of GM on the carpet like they did Toyota. I am not a conspiracy nut by any mean, those people are funny and when I need a good laugh I go to one of the many sites they have and laugh until I am either crying or peeing my pants, usually both. But could it be that GM really does stand for Government Motors???



But hey…WhatdoIknow!!!!!

Friday, June 4, 2010

Remake, Re-boot, Re-image, insert your favorite Re word here

It seems that old saying, “Everything old is new again” is more prevalent today then say 30 years ago. I mean it’s obvious to a blind man that Hollywood is completely out of ideas, (Hey, you no talent hacks that are running the movie studios, there are things with hard OR soft covers out there called BOOKS, pick one up and think about turning one of those into a movie and stop destroying the “classics”), and the ideas that they do have seem to alienate the built in fan base, if anyone doubts me on this just look at Superman Returns or you can go to JoBlo.com and look at the photo renderings of what Thor or Captain America will look like, NOT THE WAY THEY LOOK IN THE COMICS, I can tell you that. Now I know what someone of you are saying, but you have to “change things to “fit” the movie!” And I would tend to agree with you, BUT, when you change things too much you kill any chance of that movie becoming a box office success. Look at Batman Begins or The Dark Knight. The later changed the primary villain, The Joker, and not only did it work, but it worked really well. Spiderman is another that had some changes that were for the better. Then you have the movie that is coming out this summer, Jonah Hex. Despite having an another whinny, crying actress who can’t act and is getting by on her tits, (2000 No Prize Awards to the person who can tell me what movie that line is from), they changed everything that makes the comic Jonah Hex enjoyable. Josh Brolin looks about as much like Hex as my butt does. Thomas Jane would have been a whole hell of a lot better, AND he LOVES Jonah Hex, but NNNNNOOOOOOO, we can’t have that, can’t have someone who loves the characters now can we Sony. Sam Raimi made a great movie in Spiderman, ok three kind of sucked, but the first one rocked. Why??? Because he loves the character.


Now I know there are those of you that are saying, “But hey, there have been great remakes. Star Trek was awesome dude!” Yes, Star Trek was awesome dude, for its time. So was the Next Generation and so on. But if you’re referring to the JJ Abrams debacle that is known as Star Trek 90210, then yea it did have great action and Karl Urban was absolutely perfect as McCoy, (Because he loves the character. Wait, I’m seeing a pattern starting to form) and Zachary Quinto was a great Spock when he wasn’t making out with Uhura and trying to beat the snot out of Kirk lite. But Abrams is a self proclaimed Star WARS fan, which is evident by R2-D2 making an appearance, not a Star TREK Fan and even though he said in just about every article I read saying that he was going to be true to cannon. Now I know those of you who love this pile of steaming horse hockey, are screaming at your screen (and don’t you look silly for doing so), saying “It was an alternate timeline.” Well no shit Dick Tracy, I kind of caught that when “Spock” made mention of it. I gave it a chance especially after reading Robert Orci and Alex Kutzman’s comic prequel Countdown. I thought “Damn, this is going to be good after all”, but then they totally disregarded what THEY wrote. Now I can understand it if someone else wrote the comic or the movie, but IT WAS THE SAME DAMN GUYS!!!!! And JJ Abrams had the opportunity to have non fans AND fans worshipping the ass of the alter of Abrams by bringing it back to the “regular timeline” and start the next movie with Kirk lite taking command of the Enterprise and doing new stories.
Let’s move on shall we. Hollywood is remaking Footloose, and so far two, count then two actors have walked away from the lead. This summer the remake of the Karate Kid and a “Re-imaging” of the A-Team hit the theaters. They could be good or they could flop worse than The Honeymooners or Strasky and Hutch. Why do we need to see a remake of Robocop, or Fame, or Conan, or Total Recall? Why redo classics like Errol Flynn’s Captain Blood set in space… in space!!! WHY????? The remake of The Day the Earth Stood Still was so bad I almost asked for my money back, and I saw it at a friend’s house. Are we that desperate to relive our younger days?
There are MILLIONS of books out there that Hollywood can adapt, and they have done some, some good, some not so good. But it was new and different; it wasn’t stripping our childhood of memories for a profit because they can’t think past their own wallets. But as long as the movie going public pays the ridicules prices that are being charged then they will continue to regurgitate our memories like a bird feeding it’s young because we, as a people, have become sheep.
So, basically it boils down to this, Hollywood needs to be shaken up a bit, getting someone with a big set of huevos to throw them out on the table and say “Let’s do something completely different!”



But hey… WhatdoIknow

Thursday, June 3, 2010

The first of many

Well this is my first post on this here site, so far so good. Big Brother, the Wicked Witch of the West and everyone in between has not come banging on my door, but I guess I would have to post this first huh? So, I bet you all are wondering just what it is I do here well it’s simple I dispense a healthy dose of common sense. I will be touching on everything from movies and TV to politics and the weather if it so suits my fancy and believe you me that my fancy has many, many suits. I have done a blog before but thanks to my father’s urgings I have once again picked up the pen… well ok, the key board, and set out to stride across this land and smack people in the back of the head, (YOU LISTENING HOLLYWOOD?) and ask the immortal question, “WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
I’ll give you preview of what I mean. The following is not a paid advertisement for anything.

Let’s all have a pity party for Katherine Heigl

As I’m sure everyone has heard by now, Katherine Heigl was on The David Letterman Show on the 20th of July exclaiming how “cruel and mean” it was to be back on the set of Grey’s Anatomy because she had to work a 17 hour day. She told Letterman “Our first day back was Wednesday, and it was, I’m going to keep saying this because I hope it embarrasses them, a 17-hour day, which I think is cruel and mean,” Boo fricking who!!!!!!! And Letterman, not to be out done by Heigl or anyone, asked in a half jokingly manner if she got a lunch break. Come on Dave, you know better than anyone that you do, its union rules. Before you were a late night hack and a political mouth piece you acted in a couple movies, albeit bad ones that I’m sure that you want to forget, but you know the rules. But Heigl, who also knows the union rules shot back with, “Yes, we do get an hour lunch. That was nice. Thank God for that hour of lunch.”
Come on, how long are the producers of this show going to allow her to “shit where she eats?” What did she do before Grey’s Anatomy? A show called Roswell where she was a supporting character. It wasn’t until she was doing Grey’s Anatomy that she really started getting noticed and the movie offers started coming in. As anyone who has been in TV or movies can tell you shoots can be very long and if you are on a science fiction show where your character has to be in make up your days are even longer, just ask anyone that has been in Star Trek or Babylon 5. And to make this worse she insinuates that she was on the set shooting the whole time. Come on Katherine, be honest. If you weren’t shooting you were off smoking, or sitting in you dressing room or trailer or munching off the food line. You want people to feel sorry for you and you want the attention.
What Letterman should have asked her, but is too much of a chicken shit to do so for fear he might offend is masters is, “17 hours huh? How does this compare to the long hours that the men and women in uniform put in, for not even a quarter of your pay? And you’re not even on the set the whole time. You can go somewhere nice and relax where they can’t. You just really like complaining, don’t you? Why don’t you just shut the hell up and be thankful you have a job.” But he won’t.
That’s how I see it. But hey, whatdoIknow?
UPDATE!!!!!!!!!!!!
As we all know by now, Ms. Heigl has been let out of her contract due to her incessant bitching whining and complaining. She is trying to make us think that she is some big movie actress and we can just forget that she is a whiny little bitch that will go on national TV and whine how she is being treated unfairly. Grow up Katherine; believe me when I say that there are a lot more talented out of work actors waiting for you to piss off one too many people, and you Megan Fox just might want to pay attention.
But hey… WhatdoIknow