It seems that old saying, “Everything old is new again” is more prevalent today then say 30 years ago. I mean it’s obvious to a blind man that Hollywood is completely out of ideas, (Hey, you no talent hacks that are running the movie studios, there are things with hard OR soft covers out there called BOOKS, pick one up and think about turning one of those into a movie and stop destroying the “classics”), and the ideas that they do have seem to alienate the built in fan base, if anyone doubts me on this just look at Superman Returns or you can go to JoBlo.com and look at the photo renderings of what Thor or Captain America will look like, NOT THE WAY THEY LOOK IN THE COMICS, I can tell you that. Now I know what someone of you are saying, but you have to “change things to “fit” the movie!” And I would tend to agree with you, BUT, when you change things too much you kill any chance of that movie becoming a box office success. Look at Batman Begins or The Dark Knight. The later changed the primary villain, The Joker, and not only did it work, but it worked really well. Spiderman is another that had some changes that were for the better. Then you have the movie that is coming out this summer, Jonah Hex. Despite having an another whinny, crying actress who can’t act and is getting by on her tits, (2000 No Prize Awards to the person who can tell me what movie that line is from), they changed everything that makes the comic Jonah Hex enjoyable. Josh Brolin looks about as much like Hex as my butt does. Thomas Jane would have been a whole hell of a lot better, AND he LOVES Jonah Hex, but NNNNNOOOOOOO, we can’t have that, can’t have someone who loves the characters now can we Sony. Sam Raimi made a great movie in Spiderman, ok three kind of sucked, but the first one rocked. Why??? Because he loves the character.
Now I know there are those of you that are saying, “But hey, there have been great remakes. Star Trek was awesome dude!” Yes, Star Trek was awesome dude, for its time. So was the Next Generation and so on. But if you’re referring to the JJ Abrams debacle that is known as Star Trek 90210, then yea it did have great action and Karl Urban was absolutely perfect as McCoy, (Because he loves the character. Wait, I’m seeing a pattern starting to form) and Zachary Quinto was a great Spock when he wasn’t making out with Uhura and trying to beat the snot out of Kirk lite. But Abrams is a self proclaimed Star WARS fan, which is evident by R2-D2 making an appearance, not a Star TREK Fan and even though he said in just about every article I read saying that he was going to be true to cannon. Now I know those of you who love this pile of steaming horse hockey, are screaming at your screen (and don’t you look silly for doing so), saying “It was an alternate timeline.” Well no shit Dick Tracy, I kind of caught that when “Spock” made mention of it. I gave it a chance especially after reading Robert Orci and Alex Kutzman’s comic prequel Countdown. I thought “Damn, this is going to be good after all”, but then they totally disregarded what THEY wrote. Now I can understand it if someone else wrote the comic or the movie, but IT WAS THE SAME DAMN GUYS!!!!! And JJ Abrams had the opportunity to have non fans AND fans worshipping the ass of the alter of Abrams by bringing it back to the “regular timeline” and start the next movie with Kirk lite taking command of the Enterprise and doing new stories.
Let’s move on shall we. Hollywood is remaking Footloose, and so far two, count then two actors have walked away from the lead. This summer the remake of the Karate Kid and a “Re-imaging” of the A-Team hit the theaters. They could be good or they could flop worse than The Honeymooners or Strasky and Hutch. Why do we need to see a remake of Robocop, or Fame, or Conan, or Total Recall? Why redo classics like Errol Flynn’s Captain Blood set in space… in space!!! WHY????? The remake of The Day the Earth Stood Still was so bad I almost asked for my money back, and I saw it at a friend’s house. Are we that desperate to relive our younger days?
There are MILLIONS of books out there that Hollywood can adapt, and they have done some, some good, some not so good. But it was new and different; it wasn’t stripping our childhood of memories for a profit because they can’t think past their own wallets. But as long as the movie going public pays the ridicules prices that are being charged then they will continue to regurgitate our memories like a bird feeding it’s young because we, as a people, have become sheep.
So, basically it boils down to this, Hollywood needs to be shaken up a bit, getting someone with a big set of huevos to throw them out on the table and say “Let’s do something completely different!”
But hey… WhatdoIknow
I agree with you. I totally hated the remake of Dukes of Hazzards... all of them. Just not the same as the originals. I love to watch the classics like, Breakfast at Tiffany's or Calamity Jane, where people had to actually know how to act, sign, and dance; not just physically appealing and have sex.
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ReplyDeleteDear Anonymous:
ReplyDeleteAh yes, who can forget the days when one had to not only act but sign and dance as well, because the deaf like movies too. But they had to be able to carry a tune as well. But I kid, I know what you meant and you are so very right. I know someone that told me that a "movie is only good if shit blows up or if there are boobies". Now I like boobies blowing shit up as much as the next monkey, but come on, let's get a liitle "meat" to the story and not have two hours of mind numbing nothingness.